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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Post #1: Lord of the Flies

Lost on a Island
Ralph's Journal

I am on a undiscovered island where there are no adults. It is extremely hot outside, and I am scared and don't know what's happening right now. I was on the beach trying to figure out what happened. Then out of the blue a fat chubby kid with effulgence glasses comes out of the jungle and comes toward me. I was excited that I was not the only one on the island. The fat chubby kid told me everything that happened and explained in great intricacies why we were on the deserted island. He said it was a stormy day and it was during the World War II battle. There were 2 atom bombs that hit us. Then the plane crashed and split in half and we were lucky that we landed on the island. His name was Piggy. Piggy then asked, how are we going to get off this deserted place? I said that my dad works in the navy, he will rescue me. Piggy then said that was impossible, how is he ever gonna find us. I was speechless. We then started walking around the beach looking for more boys. When we were walking around the beach I saw a large pink and cream conch shell. Piggy realizes that the conch can be used to call other boys out to see if there are any boys on the island. I then blew loudly into the shell and there were other boys that survived the crash. They all came down walking to the beach. When we were all gathered they wanted to select a leader. It was between me and a guy named Jack. The choirboys voted for Jack and the rest of the group voted for me. I was surprised. Then we decided on hunters. Jack was one of the hunters along with a choirboy named Simon. Then they went off across the island. Me and Piggy then started to search the island to see if this island was an island or not. We then hit the end of the jungle and there were high sharp rocks next to steep hills. Me and Piggy started climbing up a hill to see if this island was really an island. We then made it to the top of the hill. Sadly, this was an island. But it had an incredulouss view. After we realized that this was an island we started going back to the beach. On the way back we found a wild pig tangled in vines and frond leaves. Jack proffered to kill it so we have something to eat. He then steps up to the pig and takes out a knife. Then Jack got scared and was unable to do it. Then the pig ran away and it was too late. Then he said he would do it the next time he had the opportunity. Then we headed back to the beach where the surviving boys were waiting.

2 comments:

kat said...

I really like how you included your character's emotions right away. It really gives you a sense of the character and what he is feeling. You used a lot of description, which made the journal seem a lot more realistic. This is a really good first journal. Keep up the great work!
- Katherine Guerrero

Grace said...

I like how you said "out of the blue", it was a nice choice of words. I like how you put in the vocabulary words, it fits and you can tell you know what the words mean, and how you give background information on what happened in the plane. Overall I think you did a good job.
~Grace S.